the wisdom in frustration & the gift of anger

2 Mar

[read time: 4 minutes]

if you find that a crappy mood sets in for more than a 24 hours please don’t  blame your boss, your significant other, or your period.  and certainly don’t let these pharma-pimps convince that you are suffering from a deficiency of the latest psychotropic drug. though a cleanse might be in order, if that less-than rosy disposition returns after the empty colon euphoria wears off, it could be a clue to something much more important.

many folks attempt to evade negative feelings and emotions ignoring or dressing them in always ill-fitting apathy or cynicism. others might try drowning them in swill.  still others numb them with over-the-counter or under-the-table tabs.  tragically, when we don’t face these funky-ass feelings, they will fester only getting more pungent and tart.

frustration in particular can be quite useful.  it just so happens to be the precursor to anger, especially when the feeler notices how unnecessarily long they had been tolerating the frustration without acting.

women are even more susceptible to the effects because there aren’t really any socially acceptable ways for women to express our negative feelings other than to take a passive nagging or being bitchy… which sucks for everyone involved.   echoes of behavior double standards float in my mind: “boys will be boys” vs. “play nice with the other girls”.  boys get roughhousing while girls get to act-like-you-like-them-and-don’t-show-your-feelings: it’s a total set up.

what i have found is that as we seek satisfaction in life, we get little clues along the way.  our emotional intelligence lets us know if what we are doing will get us closer to [or take us further away from] what we really want.

the wisdom in frustration
this useful emotion is the first level indicator of need for course-correction.  it is important to react to frustration.  if you don’t, a shift will happen, and it will likely be a funky one.  when you feel it coming on, take a moment to reflect.  be in the moment. say what you need to say.  do what needs to be done.  notice whether a tweak, an adjustment, or full on re-crafting of the situation feels better.

the gift of anger
should your negative feelings escalate, know that anger means you are off course.  in the case of a job you dislike, quitting might be a better idea than your logical mind wants you to believe.  if you are in this place with your own business or a project, it may be time to let something go.  when you put down what you have been holding onto, it frees up your hands to receive what your heart seeks.  when anger shows up, it really wants to usher us away from wackness and toward a better life.

chart a new course, set new standards
you deserve better than yesterday’s aspirations.   when you are upset, vexed, or disenchanted, take up the fire and cast off the excess.  negative feelings are powerful impetus for change.  notice where your identity is tied up in things that are no longer useful.  really see what no longer serves you or your highest purpose.  fulfill the desires of your heart and you find true happiness.

remember: when used properly, your negative feelings can serve as those pavement grooves that keep you alert and on the highway to your own fulfillment.

© Copyright 2010

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3 Responses to “the wisdom in frustration & the gift of anger”

  1. devessel March 2, 2010 at 11:28 pm #

    Thank you for the thought-provoking post, and thank you also for the tacit “do what needs to be done” permission to flip out.

    “…women are even more susceptible to the effects because there aren’t really any socially acceptable ways to express our negative feelings…”
    Hmmm. I wonder whether men feel constricted by societal norms also, leading them to explode with outbursts of blatantly promiscuous, violent, or otherwise socially unacceptable behavior as well?

  2. Cameron March 3, 2010 at 3:43 pm #

    You rock! Love your writing lady!

  3. Jeannette March 4, 2010 at 5:00 am #

    Great post yo 🙂

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